|
In August, 2001,
I was diagnosed with a large, malignant and aggressive tumor in my left
breast. This was removed surgically and no trace of cancer was found in
subsequent tests. To say I was surprised when, in February 2003, a
small lump no bigger than a pea was diagnosed as malignant, is putting
it mildly; and when a scan showed spots on my lungs it was hardly
reassuring
My intention is
not to tell you ‘what’ or ‘how’ to proceed, or give you any guarantee
about God’s response. Our God does not make clones, nor does He work by
set patterns or formulas. He has created each of us as individuals, and
deals with each of us according to our particular needs and
circumstances. Nor is it my intention to dwell on the cancer. My main
objective is to share with you some of the spiritual journey which was,
and continues to be, God’s special blessing for me, and to encourage
each of you to turn to Him and seek the special blessing and journey He
has just for you.
The journey began
the night I was first told that I had breast cancer. Out of the jumbled
thoughts tumbling through my head, lit up like a neon sign, popped that
phrase from Isaiah 53:5 – ‘by his wounds we are healed.’ So I
prayed, “Lord, this belongs to You, You have paid for it and You are the
only one with the power and authority to deal with it. Please take it,
deal with it and use it however You will.” From then on I experienced
the most beautiful peace and watched in awe as the Lord arranged
everything. Potential problems were resolved before I had even realised
that they existed.
I learned that to
seek God’s blessing, in the biblical sense, is not to ask for more of
what we can get for ourselves, but to cry out to the Lord for the
wonderful, unlimited goodness that only God has the power to know about
or give to us. After thinking about it, I realised that that was just
what I had done – placed myself in God’s hands seeking His blessing, His
way in His time, no strings attached.
My second
encounter with cancer was less dramatic. The tumor came up along the
scarline from the mastectomy where it had nowhere to hide, and was
quickly dealt with. Thanks to the Lord and a hormonal tablet I take
each day, the spots on my lungs have been shrinking and disappearing.
The Scripture I was given this time – by three different people at three
different times over a weekend – was Philippians 1:6 – “… He who
began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of
Christ Jesus.” I had to believe that this was a promise to me from
the Lord. I prayed as I had before – that as God alone had the power
and authority to do so, He would take the cancer, deal with it, and use
it. Then, nothing happened as it had before.
The first step on
this continuation of my journey was learning again that God does not
work to formulas or patterns. From Catherine Marshall’s book, “Beyond
Our Selves” I learned that we need to abandon ourselves to the Lord,
without a particular outcome, allowing Him to work His will, in His way,
in His time, without our strings of expectation.
The Lord’s
highest priority for each of us is that we develop a loving and intimate
relationship with Him. What He asks of us is that we – and I quote
Catherine Marshall – ‘obey one step at a time, then the next step will
come into view. God will not give us a blueprint of the future; He
still insists that our walk be step by step in faith.’
There were many
blessings for me, among them the loving care and prayer support from my
husband and family, from friends at my home church and from those in the
Healing Ministry; encouragement through visits, phone calls, letters and
cards; a Christian GP and a Christian oncologist; and many others too
numerous to mention here. Most precious of all, though, was that the
Lord kept my focus on Him and not on what was happening to me. I cannot
say that I enjoyed having cancer, but I would not like to have missed
the journey.
I cannot say that
God will deal with any of you as He has with me – in fact I can say that
your journey will be different, but it will be exactly right for
you. I encourage you to take that step of faith, look for each answer
to prayer along the way. Look for the message from God’s Word that will
uphold and comfort you, and always praise God.
I recommend that
you look at Psalm 121, especially verse three, which says –
“He will not
let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber.”
I pray that I
have encouraged you, and that God will bless each one of you with that
special blessing and journey which He has just for you. |
