| I was brought up a Christian, in the country, in a Catholic church. Life, until about 4 years ago, had been easy for me. I came to Sydney after
school, studied law, married my beautiful wife and had two great children.
In my early days in Sydney I was a lazy Christian, not attending church much
at all. We started attending St James Anglican Church in Croydon when our
oldest son was about two. Life was easy, and nothing worried me.
However, I was getting busier and busier at work, with two full time
secretaries in a very busy legal practice in the city.
Then September 11 happened. I virtually ignored it, as I ignored my stress.
The Friday before we left for overseas was the funeral of a friend from church
who had died of cancer. I went to the funeral, went back to work and raced to
finish everything before flying off. I ended up having a psychotic episode,
believing it was the end of the world, that I was God and came to save
everyone. I died (so I thought) that night.
I ended up being hand cuffed by the police and taken by ambulance to St
Vincent’s Hospital and woke up the following morning in my right mind.
The next few weeks and months were spent recuperating and I slowly started
back at work.
I got busy again and so by two years later I was again stressed at work. I
ended up in hospital again after another episode in August 2003. I was placed
on medication again at that time. The next year I started to get very anxious
the episodes would come back. The doctor I was seeing explained it as a fear
and gave me some breathing exercises to help me control it.
Virtually every day I would be gripped by a fear I would lose my mind and end
up in hospital again. Where was God in all this? I know He was protecting me
every day.
I knew of the Healing Service from friends in my Bible study. I had to deal
with this anxiety. My older son and my wife came. I was prayed for and I
cried. But nothing changed. I kept coming. The anxiety would still engage me,
and grip me.
God began to change this in February and March 2005. I don’t know which
week it was, because every week I would receive prayer for this anxiety, in the
Healing Service on Wednesday night.
And then gradually, it lifted. These thoughts no longer gripped me. They
still come, as I haven’t forgotten what happened, but they leave me just as
quickly. God has healed me miraculously of the panic and fear that had
accompanied them.
It wasn’t a dramatic, blinding, road to Damascus healing. It has been gentle
and caring. I know I have been looked after all this time.
I still ask for prayer each week at the Healing Service each Wednesday
night. I need God’s strength each day. I know I am not bullet proof, although
I thought before I was sick that I could cope with anything.
I took great comfort from Philippians 4:6-8
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which
transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
When I was healed, I heard verses 12 and 13 in the same chapter which I
hadn't noticed before. St Paul says:
“I have learnt the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do
everything through Him who gives me strength”
And now, having just finished the Inner Healing and Wholeness weekend there
is another verse, mentioned by Peter, one of my prayer partners, which has
spoken to me:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and
of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7)
I thank God for that every day.
Geoff
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